My mother passed away last week and I don't know if she's in heaven or not. I think she is, but I really don't know. She made a profession of faith years ago and we saw fruit from that decision, but then that fruit faded. She was terrified to die, rather than being confident that she went to her Father's loving arms. Did she really know Him?
There's one thing I DO know. She didn't live the victorious life in Christ that God had planned for her. She struggled with depression, feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. She was so overweight that it caused her death in the end. She never gained victory over those things and the other demons in her life. She was a wonderful, kind, loving, "good" person, but God had so much more for her.
It's made me wonder a couple things about myself. Do I live the victorious life in Christ that He has planned for me? Am I struggling with things needlessly rather than finding victory in Christ? When I die, will my family wonder if I'm in heaven? Will I be afraid to die? I can't change my mother's choices, but I can change my own. I can choose trust, peace and prayer over anxiety. I can choose self-control over indulgence. Joy over complaining.
What will you choose today?
Posts
5 comments:
Amy,
I faced a similar situation as my father neared his death. He never went down a wild life-style, but his faith had become so liberal that he no longer believed Jesus was the Son of God. So naurally I agonized over his salvation. There was nothing I could do. Whenever the subject was brought up Dad got extremely defensive, bordering on hostile at times. He mellowed some before he died, but never changed his beliefs.
But God is an amazing and awesome God, and He was able to do what man could not. At three very specific and critical times God found ways to give me the hope I needed and God did the rest.
God spoke to me through the parable of the prodigal son and later the parable of the lost sheep. These two are back to back in the Bible. He also spoke to me the third time through a radio program where a woman was telling how she knew her father was with Jesus.
I know that just as the good shepherd left the 99 safe sheep to get the one that had strayed, God found a way back into my father's heart somewhere between his hospital bed and eternity. I was able to rejoice at his funeral in the re-assurance that God had done it.
God is good and we can trust him with our dearest longings. I pray He will give you the peace you need to deal with your mother's death.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom-praying that you will feel peace soon in God's love.
Amy, I found you through TWV2.
This post was quite emotional for me. I am sorry about your mom, but agree every day we have a choice of how and WHO we want to live for. Thanks for writing this. It really spoke to me and I think I needed to read it.
~ Wendy
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been recognizing my age lately. Not that I'm ancient at 35, but facing my own mortality is good. What am I doing with the precious moments God gives me? What a good reminder you've shared.
Oh Amy, I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. I've always thought that not knowing about our loved ones has to be one of the hardest things for believers to endure. But God is gracious, and you never know what He did in your mom's heart near the end. Perhaps she embraced the love of Jesus and found His peace. May you have peace also. ((((hugs))))
Post a Comment