Keeping Order While Homeschooling

We've had school going with my 4 year old and 6 year old for a few weeks now and I've noticed some behavioral areas that need improvement. Some days, that's an incredible understatement and school is a complete train wreck. I needed a new idea to try. A friend of mine whose daughter goes to kindergarten at a small Christian school told me about the merit/demerit system at the school. I was impressed by the high expectations they have for kids that young. I expected far less of my kids at home!

So, I decided to try my own version of the merit/demerit system. I chose three areas where we have the most trouble: attitude, focus and fighting. I made up merit and demerit cards for each category. I also added a Proverb that addressed each. When I notice bad behavior in one of those areas, I don't yell (too often) or threaten. I just hand the offender a demerit. When I notice good behavior, I give a merit.

For my relatively compliant 6 year old, getting the merit or demerit itself seems (so far) to be enough to reward or correct. He's disappointed to get a demerit and that's enough to turn his behavior around. He's thrilled to get a merit.

My strong-willed, tempermental 4 year old, on the other hand, takes her demerit and throws it on the floor. Hmmm... She obviously needs more concrete consequences. So, I started giving her a 5 minute time-out for every demerit. Taken out of her recess time. We'll see how that works with her! I may end up offering rewards for merits also.

We plan to try a simplifed version of this system with our homeschool co-op (ages 2-6) where we need some training in basic classroom etiquette. We're going to write out some basic rules (don't talk until you raise you hand and are called on, hands to yourselves, etc). Then we'll have some green disks (poker chips?) and some red ones. Green is good, red is bad. It gives kids a concrete way of understanding when they're doing right versus wrong.

I just thought I'd pass it along to see if it might be helpful. Let me know!

REQUEST... I'm still trying to figure out the best way to track how many people are reading my posts, so would you do me a favor and email me or leave me a comment and tell me how you read this? Did you go to the site, read it directly from Facebook or Twitter, on an RSS feed or from your email? Thank you!!!!!!

Moms are Like Bees...

Moms are like bees, but probably not in the way you're thinking of. Yes, we're busy all the time, sting when we're angry and make a lot of noise, but I found some other similarities. :) I studied bees in school with my kids recently and I was intrigued by these little creatures! A worker bee has four different jobs throughout its life - one at a time.


1. When a worker bee is four days old, it becomes a nurse. Its body produces royal jelly that it feeds to the bee larvae. It doesn't make this jelly for very long.

2. When it is twelve days old, its body starts making wax which it then uses to build the nest.

3. At eighteen days old, its body stops making wax and it switches jobs to guarding the entrance to the hive to make sure no strange bees enter.

4. Once it is three weeks old, a worker bee leaves the hive to collect nectar or pollen to make honey.

Why in the world am I telling you this? It occurred to me that those four jobs are somewhat similar to the seasons of life that we as moms go through.

1. Our first job is a nurse. Whether you breastfeed or bottle feed, you primary role with an infant is to feed it. You bond with your baby and keep him fed, warm and clean.

2. Our next job is to build our nest. As the baby grows toward toddler hood, our focus turns toward making our homes as safe, stimulating and comfortable as possible. We baby proof the wall outlets, put up gates and search for anything that might get choked on.

3. As our children get older and have more interaction with the outside world, we turn to being a protector. We think more about keep our children safe from predators, whether they're found on the street, on the internet or on the TV. We monitor what music they listen to, who they hang out with, where they go, etc. I think this stage lasts quite a while - say, elementary school until they're on their own.

4. For the last stage, honey-making, I thought of a couple different parallels. We get to enjoy the sweet rewards of our work (Lord willing!) as we see our kids blossom into adults. We enjoy more of a peer relationship with them. In another sense, this is the season of life where we can spend more time outside the hive, maybe pursuing a career or volunteer work. Now is the time to try and contribute financially to the household.

The one thing that stuck out to me in reading about bees was that they knew exactly what they were supposed to do. They knew when one job was supposed to end and another begin. How we as moms struggle with this! Shouldn't I be out doing something different? When will I get some time to pursue other things? Maybe we should follow the bees' example and do the best job we can with whatever job God has given us at the moment. There will be other jobs later.

5 Minute Chocolate Mug Cake

A friend sent me this recipe. I haven't tried it, yet, but it looked so good I had to post it!


4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug (MicroSafe)

*Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
*Pour in the milk and oil and mix well..
*Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
*Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.

The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.
EAT ! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).

And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world?
Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

Scary, huh? If you try it, let me know how it goes!

The Art of Saying No

Why is it so hard for us to say no when people ask us to do things? We have a hard time saying no to our kids, to our extended family, to people who want things from us, the list goes on. As a result, we relinquish our time to people and scenarios we never intended to. When someone asks us to fill a position or volunteer or take on a new job or switch work schedules, we lack the courage to say no.


We somehow feel that the godly, servant thing to do, is to say YES whenever anyone asks something of us. Our time and energy is precious and limited. When we give it away without careful consideration and prayer, we are doing ourselves, our families and God a disservice. I read the quote recently that said that if we’re too busy to get everything done in the time we have, then there must be some things on our list that God didn’t put there.


So what do we do?

1. Start by not saying ‘yes’. “Let me get back to you on that” is a great line to use. Don’t let someone fluster you into saying yes when you don’t want to.

2. Then, you have time to think about it, pray about and talk with your spouse or a close friend about it. Sleep on it for at least a night.

3. Decide what your priorities are. Look at your schedule and figure out what is non-negotiable. If this new commitment doesn’t fit into what is important to you.

4. What do you WANT to do? Even if you have time for something, do you want to do it? Sometimes we should serve even if we’re not excited about it. But if you do that, make sure it’s something God wants you to do.

5. Make choices based on what you believe to be God’s will, not out of guilt. Enough said?

6. If it’s a “no”, then ask God for the courage to call the person back and graciously tell them no.

You will find that saying 'no' to things gives you freedom and joy that you may have been lacking. We don't need to be enslaved by what others want us to do!

Ready for School? Spiritually?

So, it's time for school to start again (or continue, if you start early or home school year round). The store shelves are piled high with notebooks, pencils, erasers, calculators and backpacks. You're purchasing your curriculum, making sure your schedules are arranged just right, paperwork done, the lunches made... You're all ready to start school, right?

As I was doing all this to get ready to start school with my kindergartner and first grader, I had to stop for a minute. I was more or less ready with the academics, but was I ready... spiritually? I have been catching myself snapping at my kids, losing my temper and sounding annoyed at them lately. Life has thrown us some challenges over the past 6 months and it's been difficult at times not to take my stress and frustration out on them.

So, I paused in my lesson plan preparation and library book searches to search my heart. More importantly, to ask God to search my heart and bring to light what was hidden there. I need Him to take my frustrations, my stress, uncertainty and all the other junk and toss it. Call it spiritual de-cluttering! As I educate my kids at home, I want them to learn more than history, math and science. I want them to learn godly ways to deal with stress, how to treat others and how it's OK to take a break to calm your temper before it spills over onto someone else. I guess I need to learn those lessons a little better myself!

Even though we started school today, I still need daily searching and cleansing to assure that I'm as prepared spiritually as I can be to be the Mom and teacher that He wants me to be. My time alone with Him in the morning before the kids get up is now even more important than it was before.

How about you? What do you do to be spiritually prepared to home school your kids?

Contentment in the Now

This is Freddie, our pet guinea pig. Give him hay, food, water and some fruit and he's content. Unless, of course, you're trying to catch him or trim his nails. But otherwise, he seems like a content, happy little guy.

I, on the other hand, tend to always be looking to the next thing. What's the next stage my kids will reach? When will I get the time to keep the house clean? When will I have time to write without the interruption of kids? When will I be mature enough to feel confident of what my writing platform should be? When?

I'm very much someone who lives in the future, but recent circumstances in my life have made me take a step back and be more HERE, NOW. How can I love and encourage my kids where they're at now? How can I find joy and contentment in THIS season of life? My kids are young and I homeschool them. Do I have time and energy for much else? NO! I love homeschooling and don't question that decision at all. But, do I sometimes envy the moms that suddenly have tons of time on their hands every fall to pursue other things? Sure! Just give me a few more days in every week... I'll find a way to do it all!

The reality is that God gave us the time He gave us - no more. Perhaps it's an overused cliche, but there really are seasons in life. As Ecclesiastes says, there is a season for everything. Now is my season to invest heavily in my kids and their education. I won't have another chance to do that. Doing lots of other ministry, writing, crafts, etc, will wait. They will be there when this season changes.

I still find outlets for ministry and writing and other "me" stuff, but it's squeezed in around what my seasonal priorities are. I'm trying to BE HERE NOW. I still like to look ahead to what the future may bring, but I will choose to settle myself into the now and rejoice in what it brings.

Be the Cool House in the Neighborhood

Problem: You want to keep an eye on your kids,but they want to play with the neighbors. You’re not sure what kind of values other parents have and don’t want to expose your kids to things you find inappropriate. You also want to keep them safe. And, how can you be a Christian witness to your neighbors?

Solution: Be the cool house in the neighborhood that the other kids want to hang out at! That way, your kids are where you can keep tabs on them, you control what influences they’re around, you know they’re safe and you can be an example to those who live nearby.

How? Have cool kid stuff that you make available. In the summer, we have a rocket sprinkler that is a HUGE kid draw. My kids start playing with it and we suddenly have 5 other kids in our yard laughing and getting soaked. Make a slip and slide out of a tarp. In the winter, make a sledding ramp and track out of snow. Make your home and yard a fun place for kids to play. What it looks like will depend on the ages of your kids. My husband builds plastic models and flies R/C airplanes – kids love that stuff! Have kid-friendly snacks and drinks to offer. Make home-made cookies. Be June Cleaver (just kidding). Seriously, your house doesn’t have to be immaculate – just fun and available.

Keep it under control… As you have other kids in your home and yard, remember that it’s your house and you set the rules. Being the cool house doesn’t mean you have to allow the kids to do whatever they want. Be clear and firm in your boundaries. I’ve had to tell a 6 year old neighbor that if he continued to use bad language at my house, that he would not be allowed to play there. And, that if he touched our car again, he would be sent home (this was after he was politely instructed a couple times). His 8 year old sister pushed the boundaries as well, and I firmly told her that if she could not listen to me while at my house, that she wouldn’t be allowed to play there. Don’t be afraid to send them all outside on a nice day or simply turn them away if you’re not up for company. It’s your house – take charge. Most kids will respond very well to polite but firm boundaries. Others may test you. Pass the test and you will win their respect. Fail the test and they will walk all over you and drive you crazy.

Witness… You can use the opportunity to let them see you pray before you eat and to teach them how Christians treat each other. You can also gently explain that at our house we honor God and don’t use His name lightly if frequent uses of “Oh my…” abound. Invite them to church, get to know their parents, the opportunities are endless!