I don't know about you, but I've been REALLY frustrated with this parenting-thing lately. I've been getting angry with my children and feel like they don't listen to me. They fight with each other, argue with me and whine about life.At first, I blamed their behavior on upcoming changes in our lives. We're leaving for vacation soon which includes air travel to a new place. We also have a baby on the way. Those are wonderful circumstances, but sometimes kids process things that are new by acting out.
After a couple evenings of crying to my husband about how to handle these two children, I came to a realization. I've let go of the reigns in my home too much. It happens from time to time, usually slowly. Lack of follow through on wrong behavior, loosening standards and expectations and upset schedules until I suddenly realize that I'm not in control of my home any more.
Don't get me wrong, my husband is the head of our house and Jesus is in control. But on a day to day basis while my husband is at work, God has placed me in authority over my children. If I'm so frustrated with their arguing and fighting and complaining, it's because I've slacked in that authority. If I'm whining and yelling back at my children rather than calmly instituting consequences for their behavior, then I'm doing something wrong. I've learned that usually when I have negative emotional responses to my children's behavior, it's because I'm not taking control of the situation.
So, I'm grabbing back the reigns, which is always a little ugly at first because the kids have gotten used to running the show, but I think it's working. I'm a calmer and happier Mom, my home is more peaceful and my children are happier.
When I announced to the kids the other day that some changes were going to be made and explained those changes, my seven-year-old announced soon after, "Mom, you're the best!" Kids need and deep down desire order, calm and consistency in their lives. So if you need to take back the reigns in your home, know that you're doing the right thing for everyone!
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4 comments:
Loosing the reigns happens to the best of us. And like you, my family seems to cycle through those seasons. We enjoy so much more calm in the house once authority has been reestablished!
Hm. Like looking in a mirror reading that. I so appreciate your honesty and willingness to be real about mothering, Amy. It is an encouragement to me.
Yes. Been there. Done that. And not just once either. Seems I keep having to relearn that lesson, although my learning is getting better. Progress is being made.
The results are amazing. I agree. Isn't it great to have such wonderful husbands to open our eyes a little for us? Painful and frustrating as it might be.
Thanks for sharing.
Lisa
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May God continue to empower you to hold on to those reigns.
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